Guetta : Beyonce's Worst Nightmare

These days, Beyonce has a lot of worrying to do.

She's still as big as her booty. ( Her ambition for world domination is even bigger)



Well, out-singing and out-dancing every girl on the planet got her the best of the first decade of this millenium.

So who would have thought that at the turn of 2010,

she sees her reign on shaky ground, not from another starlet ( although she does need to worry over a certain strange lady alien called Gaga.) , but from a DJ-cum-producer David Guetta.

A scruffy beach-surfer-like-dude who happens to spin records quite rather well.

Before fans and folks alike start to scream "WTF?! Who's That Chick?"

Let me clear the air for those who love music but are still on another planet ( probably the same one that Gaga came from) .


The DJ-of-The-moment : David Guetta

David Guetta is single handedly responsible for producing and mixing for Kelly Rowland, that poor girl from Destiny's Child who couldn't grow up and out of Miss B's shadows.

Until , of course, Guetta's Love Took Over and became her new Commander.




Now , we all know the other chart-topping chocolate-beauty that is Rihanna. She who brought her island-sound and made it 'Ella' hot. Setting the dance floors all over on fire with that robotic voice.

She was already ballooning before Guetta.

But a swtich from coconut-sweet to Coco Chanel-edgy and collaborating with Guetta not only extended her 5-minutes-of-fame ( let's be honest here, she ain't exactly the bext singer around even if she looks like Dionne Warwick or Whitney Houston) but allowed her to not just breathe down Miss B's neck over the last few years, but to literally surge pass her to trample all over with more #1-hits. (9 to be exact. Tying her with Janet Jackson and only behind Whitney ,Madonna and Mariah.)

Indeed, Guetta had made her The Only Girl in the world right now to triumph Beyonce. ( Gaga and Xtina A still have some way to go and Janet ought to be panicking that she ain't really 'The Best' while Whitney and Madonna should start to worry next and Mariah getting bored and lonely way up at the top, still.)



Kelly is readying her ammunition while Rihanna is red-hot.
Thanks to Guetta.

Yes Sasha, you ought to be saying out-loud now ' I Am ..... Scared."

Q

The Buff Body

Buffie, The Body.

The African-Americans love their women with the booty. The Junk in the Trunk.

How else would Beyonce and J Lo have such a following? And Kylie Minogue wanting...

Well, Buffie is the biggest of them all. Career-success wise and literally.

Even Supermodel Tyra Banks professed herself a big fan for that big booty.

'Treasure', Miss Banks called it on her talk show.

Q

Hush Hush? This Pussy Cat Roars.

Everyone knows Nicole Scherzinger had big ambitions.

She wasn't satisfied just being a member of Eden's Crush, she went on to become THE Pussycat doll.

Like how Beyonce was to Destiny's Child.

She's a triple threat:

Gorgeous, great voice and great move.

Q

He's a Lash Man

Ja'Maal Buster.

Remember that name. He is the person the Stars decend upon when they want to look fabulous with killer lashes.

Just the lashes ok? Not the Brow. (That's another guru we'll talk about next time)

He's been on Martha and Wendy amoungst others.

He's made the lashes of Rihanna, Beyonce and so many beyond mention.

Amazing work especially when you arm him with mascara,liner, curlers, glue and a pair of lush Shu Uemura's .

Q

The Next Best Superstar

As 2010 looms ahead and signal that we're soon to exit the first decade of the new millennium, looking back at how the industry had evolved into an unpredictable, volatile and insanely competitive environment where marketing hype and packaging almost outshines talent, we look ahead and wonder who's gonna make it or break it in the NEXT decade.

The Top 5 Music artistes to look out for in the Next Decade.

1) Whitney Houston: After a 7-year absence, she’s back on top. What’s next on her cards to prove to the newer generation on what talent and diva-licious really mean and what does she still have in her?

2) Lady Gaga: She’s edgy and ground breaking in both her style and music and it’s to no one’s surprise that she’s likely the biggest star on the charts for the next decade. Or will she? Is she fucking crazy? Or fucking fabulous?

3) Shakira: How will the world be even more convinced of this multi-talented chanteuse?

4) Madonna: She’s celebrated her reign as Queen of Pop longer than anyone, what’s the next decade gonna be like for the Mother of Reinvention now that she’s left Warner Music, the very label that made her?

5) Susan Boyle: She’s the single biggest story of rags to riches, talent above all else. Her massive album sales says it all. Perhaps she’ll lead the way for a new generation with a genuine appreciation for talent, rather than looks and packaging?

Over-stayers Alert:

Britney, Rihanna, Beyonce and Mariah will still be around, though the fatigue the public has of them is getting as obvious as their shrinking creative space.

On that note, will Mariah finally bulldoze her way pass Elvis and The Beatles as the artiste with the most #1-hits on the Bill Board charts, given her sleepy release of her recent ‘Memoirs’ album which is indeed imperfect?





What’s next for these?

>What’s next for Janet who’s just launched her penultimate greatest hits and who now remains the only viable member of the Jackson clan on the charts?

When in fact, her recent songs are not making the waves like they used to simply because she cannot sing like Whitney or Mariah, not is as media savvy as Madonna nor deemed as hot as Britney and Beyonce?

>Will Lil Kim continue to reign as the Queen of Female Rap music? Is she making a comeback anytime?

>Will Kelly Clarkson remain the Queen of Idols?

>Will Alicia Keys and Leona Lewis indeed become the new ‘Whitneys’ for Clive Davis?

>Will Norah Jones continue to lead the way for the new generation of female Jazz vocalists?

>Will The Wonder Girls truly break into the International market next year? Or will they just be a one-hit wonder?


>Will Nicole Scherzinger finally get her (successful) solo break from The Pussy Cat Dolls?

>How will Vanessa Mae continue to redefine classical-pop music like she had for the most part of the last 2 decades?

>Will Ciara’s music career sink further into the abyss in the next decade?

>How will Jordin Sparks, Alessandra Burke and Keri Hilson define themselves more distinctly to finally earn the recognition they deserve?

> Will The Spice Girls make another comeback?

Q ... the stars are shining bright. Read the Signs.

Dance Doyens

Shakira coos about getting out of the closet and let the animal out.

Britney suggests strongly a menage trois or a full on mass orgy.

Ga Ga roars about forbidden romances.

Beyonce seduces with phone and video sex.

Madonna just wants to have a great time on the dance floor (and the after party action).


They've all rocked the dance charts.

But who's gonna be the ultimate show-down diva on the dance floor, this year end?

The Queens of the Charts

It is the time of the year again where the last crop of big music artists launch their albums in a bid to have a slice of the eagerly buying Christmas/ Year-end crowd.

Where songstresses are concerned, the fickle and bitchy music world is their playground as they pout, pose and belt to their loyal subject of fans.

Launching rocking singles, glossy videos and snooping the competition with massive publicity stunts, collabos and other strategic moves all in the name of fame; who ranks higher up the charts and is snitching more of the consumer's money (yes, these days its all about the sex and the money isn't it?) is their modus operandi.

So here is a rather comprehensive list of the Big Mamas of today's music charts.

If she ain't on it, she ain't hot.

Listed, though not in any order or merit, with their most recent efforts:

1) Whitney Houston (I Look to you)*
2) Beyonce (I am Sasha Fierce)*
3) Mariah Carey (Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel)
4) Madonna (Celebration)*
5) Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster)*
6) Britney Spears (Circus & The Singles Collection)*
7) Christina Aguilera (Keeps Getting Better)
8) Rihanna (Rated R)*
9) Ciara(Fantasy Ride)
10) Leona Lewis (Best Kept Secret & Echo)*
11) Shakira (She-Wolf)*
12) Janet Jackson (Number Ones)
13) Alicia Keys (As I am)
14) Norah Jones (The Fall)
15) Jordin Sparks (Battlefield)
16) Fergie ( The End ; with The Black Eyed Peas)
17) Nicole Scherzinger ( Doll Domination ; with The Pussy Cat Dolls)*


(Those with * are particularly splendid this year)

And please, no Miss Miley ok?

And certainly, not Michael Jackson, Elton John or Adam Lambert.

I know I could be lambasted by loyal fans for those Divaaaaasss who didn't make it in. Sorry and ... may not.

Q

Battle of the Divas

It's been 4eva since I posted anything here.

So lets restart with a Bang.^^)

This month is the Battle of the Divas,I tell ya.

Vanessa Williams, the beauty who was the first Black to Win Miss America, finally has new material after all these years of silence and Ugly Betty.

Her 'The Real Thing' got critical acclaim and is doing well.

Louder and bigger (of course) is Whitney Houston .

Whitney launched her much anticipated comeack album , 'I Look To You' to much fan fare 2 weeks ago.

Well, it making a #1 debut on the Album charts on the Billboard Hot 100 and world wide as a matter of fact , proves, she's back !

And the world's accepting.

With big songs like the title track , the very intimate 'I Look to you' , the catchy 'Million Dollar Bill', the touching 'I Didn't Know my Own Stength' amongst others, (with my personal favourite 'Worth It' ) , it's easy to see how Whitney has traded lung power (still loads of it btw) for somthing more urban and connecting.

Brilliant. Surely one of the best albums and Grammy shoo-ins this year.
Madonna, on the other hand , just launched her third Greatest Hits collection, after her title track, the very nice (and me thinks is indeed one of her best songs thus far, up there with 'Hung Up' and 'Music') , 'Celebration'.

A very well-packaged album with posters and double Cds of her biggest hits from her long career (very heavy, yes) .

A much-needed reprieve from the ho hum Hard Candy.

Just like what 'GHV2' had to do with the damage caused by 'American Life', a couple of years back.

Well, this time, I can safely report that 'Celebration' is a much better album than even 'GHV2'. So, indeed, take heart. Maddie learnt her lessons (just).

Well , Beyonce on the other hand, just had her much banging performance at Singapore's F1 Night Race which the whole world was bound to have been watching.

And it also coincides with her launch of The Platinum edition for the recent Sasha album.

What next? Diamond Ed? This girl is manic, I tell ya.

I would have to say , well, Nippy and Maddie's albums are just a stamp to show who's the real deal amoungst a sea of Beyonces, Britneys, Rihannas and GaGas we have today

Well done!

Whitney , especially, she's in control and knows that a good effort is a Precise and concise effort.

The Wait is over.

Q

Biker Girl

The Biker outfit.


Thanks to Miss Perfection , Beyonce, whose recent stab at bringing the fusion of fashion and music to the fore, since Gwen Stefani , Madonna, Christina Aguilera and Lady Ga Ga, has brought back in the spot light, the iconic couture outfit by Thierry Mugler.

Yes, She is Sasha. And, she is fierce.

Q

Green with Envy on the Red Carpet

Prolly the most famous green dress ever worn on the red carpet because firstly, the media whore that J-LO is and the fact that this dress is really an improvised scarf.
Till today, it's beyond daring. Beyond shameless. Beyond tasteful. So what's the woo haa about? Beats me. A lack of class?


Here is fashion icon and Spice Girl Victoria Beckham with a much more tasteful rendition of what J-Lo wore; a piece of cloth draped strategically. But as with any thing Vicky wears, its sharp . It's down right stunning.


If Victoria is snewy , Beyonce is curves galor va-va-voom. And even Miss B can look rather extraordinary in jewel-toned green.

Green with envy, ladies out there?

Q ... Its the red carpet. It's meant that way. ^^

Put A Ring On it

I was listening to Beyonce's new single 'Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)', and in the midst of imagining her gyrating in front of me, I just kinda realised that quite a few (ok, a LOT) of my cousies and close friends have all tied the knot this very year.

In fact ,as I'm typing this, one gal pal is getting hitched and I'm due to attend her wedding reception in a couple of hours time.

The ST just had this article coincidentally, today, about couples rushing to tie the knot to coincide with the holiday season and there seems a genuine attempt to out-do each other in the grandeur stakes.

Who has the biggest carat diamond ring? Who's wedding gown is most crowd-wowing and expensive? Who's wedding ball is the most extravagant? Who's entrance is the most fair-tale worthy awe-inspiring?

Indeed, who can put up the flashest and most spellbounding show of love and (love for) money.

Weddings these days, it's hardly about the love any more. Really.

It's about the most beautiful bride. The Prince Charming, his bride and her Cinderella-moment.

If you can afford it, only Haute Couture will do.












Q.... Divorce rates are up. So Fu*ck it, its all about the dress.

When 2-Bs come 1

These two leads are so hot together; Brody and Beyonce

Adrien Brody insisted on kissing Beyonce Knowles several times in their new movie.

The Oscar-winning actor enjoyed locking lips with the beauty so much he wanted to re-shoot the steamy scene over and over again for 'Cadillac Records'.


He said: 'It is fun, obviously, to kiss Beyonce. I insisted on a lot of takes.'

In the movie, Beyonce stars as legendary troubled singer Etta James, while Adrien plays record boss Leonard Chess.

Although the pair never canoodled in real life, Adrien claims writing the romance into the movie was essential.

Hell yeah. ^^

Q...Hats off.

Queen of Rock

Yes, holler her famous name! (Album cover)

No one works the stage like she does. She's in the zone when she gyrates and picks up the crowd.

Her voice is most distinctive; from a sexy come-hither to an all-out whine,rasp and yelp.

From Anastacia to Beyonce, this Proud Mary has influenced a generation of powerful live performers.

She was a sex icon with those toned gams way before Mariah Carey flaunted hers.

Tina Turner. The legend.

A new album out in stores now.

A greatest hits compilation befitting the megastar that she is.

*Taken from her official webbie:

<<'Tina Turner's Top Hits, Rare Live Recordings and Two Exclusive New Songs Presented on New CD and Digital Album, 'Tina!,' to Be Released September 30 in North America by Capitol/EMI

18-Track CD & Digital Companion to Turner's North American 'Tina' Tour

Tina Turner made headlines around the world in May when she announced that she would tour this fall and winter. To complement the eight-time Grammy Award winner and Rock & Roll Hall of Famer's long-awaited return to arenas throughout North America, Capitol/EMI will release Tina! on September 30, a new 18-track CD and digital collection of Turner's top hits, rare live recordings and two exclusive new tracks.

The brand new stage show will feature hit after hit spanning Turner's entire career, with a spectacular production including the singer's top-notch band, innovative choreography, hi-tech lighting and much more.

With sales totaling more than 170 million albums worldwide and a phenomenal number of hit records throughout her career, Tina Turner is the most successful female rock artist of all time and the undisputed Queen of Rock 'N' Roll.

'>>


This Lady is effervescent. A living legend.

Q ... Tina ! Tina! Tina!

Princesses of Pop

It's the year end season again and the biggest stars are launching their albums to cash in on the holiday-buying mood of the public.

Indeed, it is no surprise that the pop-royalties are out once more to bask in their glory of their long-awating fans.

Britney Spears is staging her Comeback Round-Two.

Beyonce is proving to the world that she ain't burning out any time soon and is as Fierce as ever.

Christina is out to show that motherhood has dented none of her diva-tude. And is out to remind the world how big a star she still is.

Ok, with the princesses clearly name-dropped (as they would like it) , let us briefly discuss what to expect when parting your hard-earned money on any of their big new albums in these credit crunch times. (After all, these girls need to pay their bills too , ok?)



1) Miss Britney Spears' new album 'Circus' ; meant to cronicle and laugh at the hoo haa that she has always been since her 'Opps' days.

Of course , this time she's more specific with kids in tow and a 'womanizer' ex-hussy as she would like us to believe.

Ok, save for the fancy wild wild west theme, painfully well packaged album (double discs, loads of pictures within and an extra double-sided poster to boot) massive marketing hype that helped surge her ho-bum single 'Womanizer' to the top of the charts, this is really a very average album, whether you are a fan of hers or not.

Her previous album , 'Blackout' is a much better album. That album was a better comeback, unfortunately at a time when she wasn't ready .

In this album however, she's finally ready but the album's not.

In 'Blackout, the songs were amazingly catchy . Every song there was single-worthy.

In 'Circus' though, the songs are painfully fogettable.

To a point of being boring, bellying the glossy production for-the-sake-of-it. Not one song is impressive. Not one track is outstanding with neither a catchy hook nor a hum worthy melody.

As usual, there's always that sugar-coated life-story of hers but who cares when you can't sit through a song pondering what's the hype all about and trying to tap your feet to the groove that isn't there.

This is sad for an artiste who's past albums were always filled with very strong melodies. How is it that the recording execs think, such a snooze-inducing material would end up as Britney's, let alone a supposed big comeback effort?

So, suffice to say, this album is average at best. She's still more the circus than the album-sake.

2) Miss 'Fierce' Beyonce Knowles, has always been the drama-mama (ok, sista perhaps since she's not that old). And this new album , is none the different. Her two discs (even for the non-deluxe edition)are meant to seperate the ballads and the hip-and-grind tracks.

In the first disc, the ballads continue to show case her melismas as she wails her way in an attempt to seal her position right next to Whitney and Mariah (good luck with that) . With well sung tracks like 'If I Were a Boy', so far, so good. She's nontheless, more toned down like she intended for this album. So don't expect too much of the 'to the Left, to the left' spite.

For the second disc, it is evident that Beyonce cannot resist but to slip back to her usual manic-self. She continues to booty like no one can. Songs like 'Single Ladies' is almost a rip off from her previous album while songs like 'Diva' is but self-indulgent.

Overall, compared to Britney's, Beyonce's a very consistent and well thought out effort. Her reign as the #1 'it girl' seems unshaken if weary. Britney needs to buck up.

'Sasha' is a well-befitting effort that shows her growth as a legitimate talent.

3) Miss Aguilera is this generation's penultimate Big Voice as she roars louder than her petite frame would lead anyone to believe.

So raw is her belting that her angst can come off scary and you almost cringe at the possible vocal cord-damage she could well be inflicting upon herself . But who could blame her ? She tries her darnest.

All these years, she's seen the less talented Britney constantly atop of her and Beyonce , seemly 'destined' from the start to be the Queen of Dramatics, all of which should have been her's or part that of.

Still, there's no denying , Aguilera was nonetheless, never a small player. Almost it's biggest, in fact.

That said, with upstarts like Leona Lewis (who incidently also has a Deluxe edition of her hit album 'Spirit' out now) in the horizon to add to that growing list of would-be-competitors, it's little wonder that Aguilera is rapidly oiling her guns and showing to the world that she is Miss Perfection.

Yes, with a face seemingly carved by angels themselves, she's drop dead stunning. And yes of course, her voice is unmatced for sheer power and range.

This album, ' Keeps Getting Better' only proves it. Indeed, she does keep getting better from the lofty position that she already is.


***So now begs the big question. Who's album should you pound your bucks on?

Me thinks Beyonce's and Aguilera's.

If you still want Britney, get 'Blackout' instead.

Q